Would someone please send a casserole? A card of condolence? How about a conversation?
There was a bad thing that happened to our pregnancy. It is OVER. At 9 weeks it is over. Fetal demise. Tissue must come out. There isn't going to be a funeral although I am mourning worse than any funeral I ever attended. One on is bringing over cake or casserole. I love casserole. Especially the ones other people make.
This sucks. I am going for another D & C tomorrow morning. Evacuate the contents of conception. Test the tissue. Find out why? I am done. Done with infertility. I am emotionally, physically and spiritually spent and SHATTERED....
I guess I should expect it to end. I should have. But, I love being pregnant and even this evening as I sit here I know the fetus is DEMISED...but, it is still in me. And I will miss the...what...person that I was harbouring in my body. I made him and now he is GONE.
I am so depressed I Can't stand it. How much medication can I take? Hard to say.
Another D & C. Suck and chuck I Call it. And no answers.
and no casseroles.
please someone send me one please. Just acknowledge they way that people do DEAD people. Because we are going to a funeral at the hospital tomorrow, my husband and I. Except no one is sending us cards, condolences or casseroles.
sigh..this has changed me FOREVER now. I will never be the same. I am not sure I want to be right now. I Could honestly crawl into a hole and never be seen from again.
I loved being pregnant. And I love my baby.
Good night and good bye little one. I know I will see you in heaven and there are lots of people waiting there for you. Please don't be afraid. You were so wanted and I would give anything to have you here with us know. Anything at all.
you mom
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3 comments:
Hen...I am so sorry. I have been reading your blog and wondered why you had dropped off. Words cannot espress the pain you are in. Please know you are in my thoughts - and I would send a casserole - but I think it would be moldy by the time it got from Germany to you.
~Kat~
I am so sorry for your loss. No words can make this an easier time for you and your DH. I just wanted you to know your pain hasn't gone unrecognized.
Jen
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Ditto what icsi said. Your pain has not gone unrecognized. Be kind to yourself and do whatever it is that you need to do to survive this loss.
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