Thursday, July 3, 2008

Purple didn't work...

No cheer here.

And honestly no original thoughts either.

I am angry...mostly. I am angry at this pain. Although today it is a little bit better. NO vicodin today. That is good.

My apathy towards life, spawed from the pain I think, is really running rough shod over my life. Somewhere out there is a future. I can't see it and limbo land is my reality right now.

I feel so disconnected from life. From the world. And from my own self. I hate my body right now. I am not particularly enamoured with my attitude. I think I probably smell bad. I know I look like hell. I need a hair cut and a hair dye in the worst way. My house looks like a bunch of bums lives here. We are so not unpacked yet and the house is a mess.

Honestly, all i want to do is climb into bed.

I haven't been eating. I drink water and pop pills all day.

And there is another family gathering this weekend complete with babies and preggo sister. I love them. But, they are not me.

apathy is setting in again heavily. Must go to bed.

cluck

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